I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
