At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He passed out mid-signature
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
