Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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