Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
