DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
