garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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