never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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