you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
