Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
