She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
