no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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