it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we're making bets on your personal life
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
