Dual....:-)
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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