BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Your cock deserves a montage
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have aggressive nipples.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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