At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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