We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
