he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
They took my balls.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
