Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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