giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
