Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
