it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
