oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize