Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
