): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
