is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
