Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Randomize