I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he fucked my hip out of place.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Randomize
