How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
