hell yes lets make some ravioli
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
