Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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