And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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