You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
