white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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