then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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