its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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