he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
