I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
