Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
