doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize