In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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