i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
