i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
