I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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