in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
