You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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