He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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