I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
