he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize