just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
