new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
