you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
