how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
