I'm lost and stupid without you.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can't turn off my feet"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
