Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
