I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
