I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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