Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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