Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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