I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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