No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
