You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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