Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
