Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
