We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
