Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
