so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
